The Best Fish Fries in the Area

Lent has arrived and with every Lenten season comes the Friday fish fries.  Throughout Cincinnati, hundreds of parishes open their doors to anybody to raise money for charity while at the same time, abstaining from meat.  While this past year has been completely different in nearly every respect of life, parishes have been able to take the blows of COVID-19 and continue with their fish fries and opening their doors to the public.  This article will take a closer look at, and even evaluate, the following Friday fish offerings : St. Susanna, St. John, St. Maximillian Kolbe, and St. Columban.

Price

All parishes were graded based off a fish meal with sides of coleslaw, french fries, and either green beans or hush puppies.  St. John wins this category with their meals coming in at $10.  The fish for St. John was by far the biggest fish I’ve ever seen at a fish fry stretching from corner to corner in the box. St. Max gets a close second place with the same price of $10 with just a little less fish.  St. Columban came in last place with a price at $11 for the smallest fish and small sides as well.

St. John 8oz Fish Dinner

Variety

For this category, the number of food items, both entrées and sides, were counted.  St. Columban came in first for this category with 11 different items of food.  These items of food range from general fish fry meals such as shrimp and cod to buffalo shrimp wrap and fish tacos. Second place goes to St. John with 9 different items.  In last place was St. Max with 4 different items of food. It is also worth noting that the 4 different types of food at St. Max are in the only meal available at St. Max.

Taste

Due to the importance of the category points are doubled because it's essential to have a good tasting fish.  Coming in first place, is St. Max.  St. Max's batter for their cod is by far the best with their spices and hidden flavors within it.  Along with that, their fish is cooked to the right temperature where it's still moist in the middle but also preserves the crispy outside as well.  In a close second is St. Susanna however, their fish was slightly undercooked with the batter not completely cooked.  In last place comes St. Columban with a bland batter and an overcooked fish.

St. Max Fish Dinner

Note: One piece of fish has been removed

Efficiency

All the parishes were graded off an online order and pickup at the parish with the exception of St. Susanna where online ordering is no longer available.  Coming in first place is St. Columban where I wasn't in the parking lot for 30 seconds before my food came to me.  Second place is St. Max where within a couple of minutes my order came to me.  Third place goes to St. Susanna with a wait time of 10 minutes and 30 seconds.  Last place is St. John with a wait time of 17 minutes and 30 seconds.

Friendliness of the Staff

This was by far the most difficult category and I feel that it's fair to say that all parishes were all extremely friendly.  Coming in first place is St. Susanna with old Korean War veterans making small talk while taking orders, as well as an added bonus of girl scouts waving at you as you buy your food.  Coming in last place is St. John.  The reason for this is the atmosphere was a rushed one where you were just another customer and not somebody who people want to know more of.

Note: Gold denotes first place

Gray denotes last place

St. Max takes first place with first or second place in 4/5 categories.  St Susanna earns second place with no last place finishes.  While according to the chart, St. Columban and St. John are tied, St. John takes third place for their overall experience ranks much higher than St. Columban.

Other Notes

While this article focused on the 4 parishes above, it is also worth noting all the parishes that receive an honorable mention.  St. Gertrude was also supposed to take part in the competition however, St. Gertrude only has fish fries every other week and they were unable to keep up with the demand that was presented to them.  St. Lawrence on the west side also receives an honorable mention because of it's rumored to have the best fish fry in all of Cincinnati according to Deacon Nathan Beiersdorfer.  On top of that, I've heard from multiple sources, including a local west sider, that Bridgetown Finer Meats on the west side has the some of the best fish. 

Besides all of these places, it's especially important this year to support your local fish fries, as churches have been hit especially hard and are in need of some help.